Once again I find myself crying into a famous frozen Irish coffee. They open at 10am, I’m seated at 10:10. I’m alone, pretty fucking alone. Reliving every single shameful moment of the previous nights, going through my texts and regretting everything and everyone I’ve ever met. New Orleans.
He sits next to me, he smells terrible but he’s really cute. I wipe my tears and drunkenly say “oh wow you’re hot.” He laughs at me, he can’t tell if I’m being serious or not. He doesn’t notice that I’ve just been crying. I mention that I’m sad over a boy, that I stupidly flew across the country to try and get someone to love me. “That’s fucking nothing, I moved here for a woman and she broke up with me after 2 weeks and I have nowhere to live”
“Also I was just diagnosed with cancer”
I don’t know why but I start uncontrollably laughing. He is extremely puzzled.. he looks at me and he starts laughing. It’s all so absurd. Cancer? Sure why not.
My flight is delayed. I don’t want to leave, I call the airline and change the flight.
“We can hang out and be sad together tonight”
Hours later we are eating pizza at a casino. I hit $25 on black, he is really impressed. I told him to never doubt me. I always know what I’m doing.
I lost the $25 on the next spin.
New Orleans is haunted. It is possessed with the spirits of every man I’ve ever loved. I can sense all their lost feelings all around every street. It’s in the air and in the heaviness of the humidity. I’m constantly sweating.
